Shane told us about his situation and how heroin had played a major role in his problems. He recalled when things reached their worst. He found himself on a wet and cold night in Leeds city centre with nowhere to go. He bumped into someone he knew who said he had somewhere they could sleep. He took Shane to a back-street with some cardboard propped against a wall as a shelter. They spent a freezing night under wet blankets. After a mostly sleepless night Shane then went into a fast food restaurant where the toilets offered a hand drier to try and get dry and warm. Physical discomfort now overtaken by the embarrassment caused by people looking.
Shane described how he felt through all of this:
‘Drugs become a need not a want. If you ever have time or money beyond that you end up doing more drugs so you can forget how bad things are, when you should be seeking support and going to appointments. You know that you have broken trust with all those who cared about you. You know people see you as scum and you are always getting hassled. And for me when things were really bad all I wanted is to be sat in my own place with a cup of tea – that’s what normal meant to me.’
Me and Miss Brown
The first time we met it was love at first sight,
She captured me right there and then,
Her beauty embraced me completely despite,
Being renowned for the ending of men.
A temptress well known,
Pure seduction’s her aim,
Till she has you crushed under her thumb,
Her seed has been sown,
All you’ll play is her game,
Till your mind, soul and body lie numb.
B wing. HMP Leeds
Since leaving prison Shane has recently moved into a flat and things are going well for him. He has realised his hopes of normality (and often has a cuppa in his flat) and is now building different aspirations and plans to realise them.